Sometimes it would be nice to just go somewhere all alone and just not think about anything. I am sitting at Dialysis after just coming from a funeral. This is twice in a month that I have come straight from a funeral to this place. Not the happiest situation in the world. Both funerals were for young people. One was for Wendy, from my first blog ever. One was my brother-in-law. My husbands older brother. A true shock, I never dreamed he would really do something like this.

I hate when people ask, "so, how was the funeral?" How do You think it was??? We buried someone! They are not coming back. or better "How is ____ taking it?" How do you think? They are grieving. I want to turn around and ask, "have you lost anyone? that is how they are taking it!

I know people don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. But I know some things not to say.
- Please, no more stories about every person you know who has died.
- Please, no more asking if we know why he died
- Please, don't ask how we are doing if you don't want to hear "depressing things"
- Please don't offer " I'm so sorry and launch into '20 Questions'
_ Please do not tell us it was an "easy way out" or any other wording of this. Don't you think we have already been through so many scenarios in our minds? So many "What ifs?" So many unanswerable questions. There is nothing you can think of that has not already been thought of.

Just be there. Listen. Pray.

"Are questions ever appropriate when learning of a death? The only questions that might be appropriate are: “Can you tell me where I can get information on the funeral, memorial service, or visitation?” “Is the family accepting visitors?” “Can I bring a dinner?” “Where can I make a donation in their memory?” Or, “Is there someone I can call to offer my help?” written by Robbie Miller Kaplanauthor of How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say,