Dreamland

I have started to write this a few times. I have had some pretty severe pain the last couple of treatments. It does not help that the gentleman next to me is asking just about every 4 minutes if he can go home, if he can leave, why is he here, why he can't go home, why he is being held hostage.

Arrrggghh!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday was Mother's Day and our Wedding Anniversary. It was going ok, up until about 9:00pm. When I normally would have the kids in bed. We learned that my brother-in-law killed himself. This is a shock. A true tragedy that we have no answers for. Why? I don't know. I never believed he would. He has three daughters, two sisters, a brother and many nieces and nephews, friends and other relatives.... so many people who love him, who cared, who helped him. They tried to help. They did everything that they could. No one thought this would really happen. No one wanted this. Why? I wish I could answer. I wish I could make it better. I wish many things. In my dreams, everything is ok. My kidneys work, we have enough money to make ends meet, my husband is healthy, my kids are happy, my house looks perfect, the lawn never has to be mowed, weeds don't exist, messes clean themselves.

I want to move to Dreamland.